Having played Dark Souls more frequently in the past, Re:Zero – Beginning Life in Another World brought back fond memories for me. Fans of both franchises might most likely make some simple analogies. The protagonist of Re:Zero, an isekai, and the majority of new players in Dark Souls are both notorious for their harsh and difficult “content,” and they are both dark and frequently depressing fantasy series. Then they resurrect and confront them once more. The cycle then restarts when they are murdered and resurrected. As they endure through death and frustration, Natsuki Subaru and experienced players gradually gain strength and skill, and finally they overcome the obstacles in their path before taking on more difficult ones. Essayists in the media such as myself write extensively about how the cycle develops Subaru’s and some players’ character.
Not that assessments of people overcoming misfortune through media consumption aren’t worthwhile reading, but for the purposes of this essay, I want to talk about roleplay, which is a kind of play that is less closely related to the action-adventure genre of these franchises. Playing a role you don’t typically identify with is called roleplaying. It’s a style of play that mediates how I interact with games like Dark Souls and how Subaru tackles his ordeals in Re:Zero; it’s not limited to hack-and-slash and magic blasts, and it can even be done in tandem with them. Subaru roleplays to defend the people he loves, just like I did in Dark Souls to protect all the non-playable characters (NPCs) I liked. Because, by whatever means, we want to help people and we want to be better, we employed tools that broke the game and knowledge that only we in these dark fantasy scenarios had access to.
I like to roleplay games with interactive storytelling and player choice, and Dark Souls is no different. In addition to satisfying yet difficult combat, it offers a ton of opportunities for player expression. From a mechanical perspective, the game offers players a variety of stat builds and playstyles to help them overcome its hurdles, even though it has a reputation for being hard. While some strategies for overcoming obstacles are more effective than others, even the less effective ones can be made workable with enough ingenuity or expertise. Narratively speaking, Dark Souls’ landscape is dotted with NPCs with their own storylines, most of which are left up to the players’ interaction. The majority can be killed or ignored, and nothing important will be missing, allowing the game to continue. Additionally, you can interact with them and provide assistance, which will occasionally change how the player, the concerned NPCs, and other people in the world play and the plot.
The way you explore NPC questlines might lead to both positive and negative effects over time. Let’s take Laurentius of the Great Swamp as an NPC. Because he is the sweetest, chillest guy I’ve ever met, I called him Pyro Bro. You can find and free him from his urn confinement in the Depths, and he will be ecstatic. He will emerge to the surface and readily impart his pyromancy skills, referring to you as his friend. Whenever I went somewhere else, I made sure to stop by and see him. When I end our conversation, he always wishes me well and lets me know that I’m on his mind. In Dark Souls, pyromancy comes in many forms, and beneath the Depths lies a much more perilous place where a strong, ancient form of pyromancy is employed. The reason Laurentius was going down in the first place was to discover this pyromancy.
After retrieving some of that old and magnificent pyromancy and making my way back from even more below the Depths, I had to decide whether or not to tell him where I had discovered it. His commitment to mastering the art of pyromancy is second only to his kindness as one of the most compassionate NPCs in Dark Souls. Who was I to break the good news to the wonderful man? Nevertheless, I was aware that disclosing such knowledge would bring him to ruin from reading wiki posts and viewing lore videos. Most players probably go into games rather blindly, but in order to avoid making mistakes that might send Laurentius and other NPCs I would treasure towards death or worse, I not only purposefully “spoilered” myself on the game’s plot, but I also thoroughly researched the specifics of each NPC’s questline. If at all possible, I was not going to let him go down there, and I most definitely was not going to lead him mindlessly to his demise. I avoided him after I got far enough in the game that he would start to ask me questions about the pyromancy from down under.
Afterwards, much to my relief, I understood that simply by speaking with him, I wouldn’t ruin his life. I would just have to tell a falsehood the next time I talked to him. Though it wasn’t ideal to trick him, he believed me when I said that I was his friend, so I made sure my Pyro Bro was secure.
Roleplaying Subaru in Re:Zero
Subaru’s persona in Re:Zero is fundamentally centered on keeping his loved ones safe, which is what motivates him to endure all the threats that loom large and menacingly over people he holds dear. He works so hard to prevent that and to protect them because if he doesn’t, they will suffer much and perish forever.
Subaru doesn’t have the same starting advantages as other isekai heroes. In comparison to the people of his isekai world, he isn’t very strong or intelligent. His understanding of his home world is of little use to him during his trials, and the only unique knowledge he manages to gather that will ultimately provide him the upper hand comes from his strange ability to “Return by Death.” This ability, akin to game checkpoints, transports him back in time to specific points after death, carrying over his memories of past loops. The power to plan ahead and possibly even relive encounters indefinitely with “spoiled” knowledge seems like a fantastic skill. Then you learn that such occurrences are difficult to fully comprehend and incredibly cruel to everyone they touch. You also realize that there is only so much information that can be extracted from a loop before the next inevitable death, and that dying repeatedly is mentally crippling and hurts like hell. For less experienced Dark Souls players, getting past a boss or through a region can be frustrating. However, Subaru constantly dies and frequently suffers greatly as a result of it; players of Dark Souls never truly die or are injured.
Emilia is the most out-of-the-ordinary buddy that Subaru has made and maintained over the years. She is the target of evil and deadly forces who will show no mercy to her and her camp because of her likeness to a notorious character who brought disastrous devastation to the isekai world and her resolve to remain in the public front as a ruler contender for a kingdom. When Subaru first swears to support her as the first person in the isekai world to show him kindness, he has no idea of this. Nevertheless, he endures multiple timelines of trauma from being brutally killed and witnessing loved ones brutally murdered out of a desire to protect those he cherishes. Subaru’s level of determination surpasses that of most Dark Souls players. His efforts succeed for a while, but eventually he has to endure something so trying and agonizing that his resolve breaks. He sadly confesses to Rem, a different close friend, that he has been acting like an incredible and capable hero from the beginning, but that maintaining the façade is now too difficult and hard for him.
Roleplaying is assuming an identity that isn’t typically your own. When you are that person, how can you act like you’re not? The plot of Re:Zero is broken up into several arcs, and by Arc 3, Subaru’s shenanigans in the isekai world are all that is known about him. When he reaches his lowest point and feels even more bad about keeping it a secret, he mostly stays silent about his past. His isekai buddies, who are familiar with him from the loops that were successful, describe him as a fantastic and capable man who always knows exactly what to do and pulls off crazy feats that save the day. A part of him believes he can be that man, but a deeper part believes he is a fraud because of the pain of failed loops that reinforce negative beliefs about himself that he can’t help but partially agree with. He secretly believes that he is worthless, empty, and a waste. Before, he was a recluse who leaned on his parents and experienced insecurity around his great father. He reasoned that since no one knew the real him from the isekai world, he could act like a hero or a decent person without fear of repercussions. He maintained this beneficial persona to win people over and make them want to be around him. Then he fell.
We Act Out to Improve
Subaru believed that by acting out his ideal, he could rise from nothing, keep trying until he succeeds, and finally become that person. Most people only view roleplaying as a fun kind of pretend play, nothing more. Though it’s not possible for me to be a warlock with hellfire shooting from my fingertips due to a mistaken agreement with a fiend, it’s entertaining to consider. Though that would be entertaining for someone, there is no universe in which I could be a demon lord who relishes the cries and teeth-gnashing of helpless victims. Though there are various ways to pretend, Subaru and I decided that roleplaying was the best option.
I’m at a point in my life where I feel secure enough to describe myself as a generally decent person. Though I should be more sympathetic and I make mistakes that are insensitive, I enjoy being of service to others and detest seeing them suffer. Additionally, I had an extremely comfortable and wealthy upbringing, so I was never forced to make difficult decisions that would have tested my morality. The regions found in Dark Souls are desolate and decaying. It appears as though everything around you is depressed. One typical illness that befalls its residents is nihilism. It’s a post-apocalyptic dark fantasy. Its attitude dissuades generosity. Selfishness blends in with the environment. I feel even more driven to be kind to the few people where kindness still has a flame in a place like that. I am filled with joy when I witness modest acts of kindness in people and am filled with a deep desire to shield those who continue to follow kindness.
Take away the mythical and apocalyptic elements, and I don’t think the world of Dark Souls is all that dissimilar from our own. As I scan the news, I come across countless surveys, figures, and instances of people taking advantage of one another and how politeness is in short supply. When I roleplay in games with depressing settings, my unhappiness with the state of the world and my helplessness to change much about it shapes how I see myself: even though the state of the world symbolizes neither justice nor comfort, I wish to supply both. I use my character to rectify wrongs when I can and to reward goodness when I can. I will never be able to resist my curiosity or my need for perfection to do something terrible, and I will never put their profit before the well-being of nice and innocent people. To me, it is self-affirming to reject the creeping erosion of nihilism and still strive to do the right thing in places as desolate and unfriendly as Dark Souls—even when making that decision is difficult, expensive, or just a small flame in a frigid universe.
Though I continuously question my own goodness, I want to trust in the goodness of people. To strengthen and maintain my conviction in such principles, I roleplay helping kind and compassionate NPCs in video games.
Subaru continuously doubts himself, even if he wants to think that other people can like him. In Re:Zero, he roleplays as a hero and endures a great deal of suffering in an attempt to live up to the expectations placed on him and to become better.
As Rem tells him she believes in him, Subaru is at that point in Arc 3 where he’s about to give up on the idea that he’s anything like the decent person he’s been pretending. Most people could never really understand what it’s like to go through the horrors Subaru has chosen to bear in order to protect Emilia and the others, not even for those who could estimate the general contours of his “Return by Death.” Still, it’s his decision. He may simply opt to break off his relationship with Emilia and flee; if he did, the Re: If spin-off novel affirms that those horrors wouldn’t pursue him. Simply put, Emilia and everyone around her would perish. Regardless of how kind Emilia was to Subaru, most individuals probably wouldn’t have gone as far for her and the others as Subaru has done up until now. Subaru, however, is unable to argue that morally abandoning Emilia is the right thing to do because she is a truly decent person and doesn’t deserve for the universe to kill her. Still, he made many excellent shots at it. He decides to leave Emilia behind and begs her to go with him while Rem is by his side. He tells her, somewhat bitterly, that although he tried hard, he isn’t and never will be a good person—at least he could save her.
Rem doesn’t fully get what Subaru has been through, but if he wasn’t a nice man at heart, there’s no way he wouldn’t have gone to the ridiculous measures he has indicated to protect everyone. Rem has also been pretending to be the wonderful and capable girl, trying to step in and handle all of her twin sister Ram’s responsibilities, but she secretly believes that she will always be a phony. In addition, Rem felt worthless, empty, and insecure in comparison to her once-amazing twin sister. Ram injured herself in order to shield her, but Rem was consoled and then consumed with guilt by the idea that she was no longer needed to be compared to her because of her disability. In the end, she believed that no matter what she did, she was not and could never be a nice person, and that no one would like her if she allowed her helpful act to slip. Then, when her revived remorse drives her to go demon-berserk in Arc 2, Subaru goes to ridiculous lengths to keep her safe. Why would he do all that for her, considering she was skeptical of him too (and, she doesn’t remember, caused his death in previous loops)?
It’s because he thinks she’s a decent person and she thinks the same of him. Despite being aware of each other’s fears—which she fully discloses to him in Arc 2 and he fully discloses to her in Arc 3—neither Subaru nor Rem thinks the other is acting.
In contrast to Subaru and Rem’s self-perception, identities are products of society. They are not unchangeable. They react and respond to people and things all the time, and they have the capacity to change and grow significantly over time. Nevertheless, a lot of people find it difficult to alter their self-perception. It can be difficult for people’s minds to let go of ingrained habits and biases, particularly if they were shaped by trauma.
I’m so skeptical and have seen bad treatment that I have to keep telling myself that people are generally nicer than the headlines often portray. Subaru and Rem feel they have to appear helpful to people all the time because they fear that if they don’t, the people they want to be with will leave them. Yes, we play roles to help us cope, but we also play roles to help us improve. We take some steps toward change as we falter from doubt and are helped back up by people who think our roleplay is or can be real.
My real-life pals reassure me that I’m not wrong for trying to be decent, even though it has sometimes led to me being taken advantage of. My Pyro Bro Laurentius is still alive and will continue to greet me warmly anytime I pass his way. Rem tells Subaru that he has already shown her that he is a wonderful man by saving her when she thought it was unfair. She will support him in the same way that he has offered to support her when she is unable to constantly be fantastic and capable.
But she cannot accept Subaru giving up on Emilia and the others; that is not what a good person like Subaru desires. She has seen the Subaru, and she knows that he aspires to be and is a hero—a hero for her and for everyone he loves. Subaru decides to make a new choice that is more suited for her and him after receiving clear confirmation from someone he values that she believes in him. He swears he will save the day and become the greatest hero ever.
